The Little MerMarik
by Paradichloricbenzene
Summary: Marik, Prince of the Sea and sassy Merman, saves Bakura, Prince of the Land and constant prude. But like usual, Marik won't just leave this encounter at that. Traditional 'The Little Mermaid' story line. Bad language, characters based of Little Kuriboh's.


_~The Little Mer-Marik~_

Marik stared up at the vermillion sky, seeing how it was slowly turning into the golden rays of twilight with lazy pink stained clouds drifting along. The breeze was small and everything was calm in the world with nothing to disturb it. The Egyptian let out a small sigh and relaxed, shutting his eyes.

Until he remembered he had fallen off a cliff only a few seconds ago and now was hurtling to the sea below, the waters littered with sharp rocks along the craggy coast.

His eyes bolted open as he remembered this, him starting to thrash about his limbs as if they'd somehow gain the ability of Mega Ultra Chicken and let him soar away into the cotton candy clouds. In an instant, he'd forgotten how he'd got there. In the same instant, he had an obligatory anime flashback.

* * *

Somewhere under the sea...

"Master Marik! Wait for me!"

"Foolish fool! You've swam right into my trap!"

It was too late. Odion the Sea Nettle Jellyfish swam directly into the streamline of bubbles coming from the molten caverns of heated rock below them. The small thing let out a shocked yelp as he was sent shooting upwards by the mixture of hot water and bubbles whilst being spun off in a random direction. As soon as the blue ocean world he knew stopped spinning, Odion dared to open his eyes. He found himself floating upside down with Marik now circling him like a shark would, equipped with an equally toothy grin. "Master Marik, that was cruel."

"You were the one who swam into my trap." Marik pointed out in his nasally tone of voice, him stopping to grasp Odion and correct him so the jellyfish now faced the right way up. "But Master Marik, that wasn't a trap. That was you timing me swimming into an air vent."

Marik paused to think about this before spotting the 'I'm right' look on Odion's face. In a panic, he grinned happily at him. "Just a according to _plan, _Odion! After all, I'm the Sea Prince and the sea bows down to me! So it was a trap."

Odion couldn't be bothered to argue with his Merman friend – Marik always won with his bizarre logic at hand. "Master, shouldn't we be heading up to the surface already? After all, this IS why we snuck out so late at night, isn't it? I even filled your bed with a pillow to disguise the fact that you're gone!" Odion insisted, him floating around Marik's sandy hair that billowed gently with the currents. "Let's get going."

Marik turned to look at Odion. His eyes couldn't have been bigger and shinier even if he turned into an anime girl from a shoujo manga. This made Odion smile – a happy Marik was a happy everyone, even if it meant carrying out Marik's hapless so called 'evil schemes'. If Odion hadn't been paying attention to Marik (something he had to constantly do), he would have missed his friend zoom off towards the lighter surface waters.

"You know, Odion. I've got to explore the outside world!"

"Why is that, Master Marik?"

"Well, the saying is 'know your enemy', isn't it? And my sworn enemy in the entire world is the whole Human Race!" Marik punched the water, the golden bracelets on his wrist knocking against each other with a small 'chink' noise. "So I'm going to explore the Human World, blend in as Malik Blishtar and discover the Human's weak point!" He let out another obnoxious laugh, this one genuine rather than forced to cover his mistakes. "I mean, it looks _fun _up there and..."

Odion nodded (or rather shook his entire body) whilst listening to Marik. Over the years, he'd learnt to listen to Marik and then filter out his ramblings for the facts he needed to remember.

"... but you've got to remember Odion – keep your friends close and your enemies closer-" A large explosion overhead cut the Egyptian short, it sending a shock through the water which blew both sea creatures away from the surface and towards the dark depths.

"MASTER MARIK! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" Odion shouted over the ringing in his ears.

"WHAT THE _FRIG_ WAS THAT?" Was the teen's reply.

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"GAAH!"

"AAHH!"

Both began to scream as they floated in the water before calming down – Odion being the first to do so. Looking up, he spotted the violent flames above the surface and instantly knew it meant trouble. Rushing over to his paralysed and screaming friend, he wrapped his tendrils around his arm before tugging as hard as he could due to his small stature. This seemed to wake Marik from his screaming fit, as he looked down at Odion with a shocked look on his face.

"Master Marik! We've got to get out of here! A Human ship has blown up! It's dangerous!"

As if hypnotised, Marik looked up to gaze at the flames. The fact that it was dangerous (and therefore deadly) was enough to make him more interested by it. A childish grin spread across his face his he lifted up his arms in celebration which in turn easily threw off the Jellyfish wrapped around one. "Right according to plan!" As he revelled in happiness at the fact that a ship had blown up with absolutely no connection to him yet still took credit for it, he swam up and broke the surface to see the carnage of his apparent success. In front of him were the remains of a magnificent ship, its hull split down the middle as it was already beginning to sink into the cold waters. The whole thing was on fire and many Humans were running about the deck screaming whilst on fire too. Fire was something Marik had never experienced before. Instantly, fire had passed the test and therefore became an ally to him if it would burn his foes! His eyes widened in glee at the sight – his enemies were suffering! Oh how he wished that he had something-a-ma-bob to capture this memory and keep it for him to watch over and over; yet without warning, the next thing he knew he was being pulled down underwater by Odion.

"Master Marik, we're leaving now!"

"But I want to see them _diiiiieee..._!" The Prince whined, him staring up at the glistening colours of red, orange and yellow above him. How he loved his new ally against the Humans.

"If we stay, a Human might spot us!"

It was as if fate hated Odion. For the second he said that, said Human being fell into the sea right in front of him and steadily sank right in front of the arguing pair. Both froze as they watched it. Marik was the first to break the silence.

"GAH! ODION! KILL IT!" Marik hissed, hiding behind Odion whilst waving his free arm viciously at the unconscious dead-weight sinking in front of them. Yet Odion was in shock, him letting go of Marik's arm from the fact that a Human was within breathing distance of him. If he had one, he would have had a heart attack. Eyes narrowed, Marik watched the Human sink before realising that indeed, it was defenceless and therefore nothing to be scared off. Swimming down, he floated alongside the Human. From the face, though he could have been wrong, it looked male. "Hey Odion, I think he's dead."

Odion had recovered from his heart-attack in time to hear Marik's statement. "Good! Let's just go before another decides to jump in and almost see us!" A flustered jellyfish swam over to Marik who now had his head pressed against the Human's chest. "What're you doing?"

"... I don't think he's dead... Do Humans have hearts?"

"Does it matter!"

"It does." Marik gave his friend a sour look before looking back to the sinking Human. "Cause I can hear a heartbeat. He isn't dead."

"Well he'll drown soon so let's just lea-"

Marik, like usual, was ignoring Odion's otherwise conscience words as he took a hold of the sinking boy by his clothes before starting to swim back to the surface with him.

"MASTER MARIK! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?"

"Gaining another ally, Odion! We need an inside man!" Marik called back, breaking the surface again to see the last of the fire die out – no survivors on _that _ship. Pulling the unconscious boy up too, he began to swim for the closest shore he knew of whilst trying to keep his new (forced) ally alive. In effect, he had also abandoned a very flustered and upset jellyfish to wonder what to think.

"I am never swimming that far again!" Marik moaned as he lay on the sand, pulling a face that suggested he was half-dead and even more so than the unconscious boy next to him. It was now close to dawn and Marik had been swimming almost all night against the stormy waters. He would of given up by now if he hadn't of been motivated to see land properly and keep his ally alive. Sitting up on the sand, he stared down at his large purple fish tail in the sand, seeing how the tiny gold grains stuck to it like glue. That's also when his attention diverted to the boy he'd saved. For one, he was as pale as a ghost but then again, he'd never seen anyone without a tan like his own. Leaning closer, the Egyptian observed the boy below him. He had long and fluffy white hair which spiked up in random directions, including two spikes identical on either side that looked like bat wings. Marik sniggered at this thought. Yet now he discovered that the more he gazed down at the Human boy, the more his heart started to pound in his chest further. Why was he feeling this way...? The butterflies in his stomach and the way his cheek flushed made no sense. He was snapped away from his thoughts as he heard a groan below him, only to look down at the boy again as he started to stir. "So you guys have to breathe air to live..." Leaning even closer, Marik became so close to him that it was as if their noses could touch. Brushing parts of the boy's thick fringe away from his face to get a better look, he waited for a reaction from the now semi-conscious boy. Underneath his touch, the boy whined and opened his eyes slowly to reveal the bloody chocolate orbs that were his eyes. Marik took one look and was captivated. He still hated Humans but this one... This one seemed different from how confused and helpless it was underneath him. His attention was brought to the pale boy's lips as he was trying to form his mouth around words, his blurred vision still staring up at the tanned figure above him. "...who..."

Marik blinked in surprise, staring down at him with utter fascination. "You speak my language...?"

"...are...you..."

"Bakura! Bakura? Is that you?"

Marik dragged his gaze from the pale boy beneath him to spy a tri-colour haired man standing on the small cliff edge above, staring down at the two in shock. Normally this may not bother Marik, but the second he saw the guy run along the edge to the slope heading to the beach, the Egyptian knew he needed to get away sharpish. As he pulled his hand away from the pale boy, he felt their hands touch for a brief second before the contact being ripped apart by the force Marik was dragging his tanned ass across the beach to the water. As soon as it was deep enough, he disappeared underneath the waves to then swim away as fast as his tail fins could take him.

"Bakura! You're alright!" The tri-colour haired man crouched by the pale boy, shaking him awake. "We heard about the storm that wrecked your ship but apparently everyone had died! Thank heavens you're alright!"

Marik eyed the man suspiciously from behind the rock he was leaning against. He didn't like him one bit. 'Stupid Humans always messing up everything a mer-person wants to do... They even eat fish! That's _disgusting_!' A scowl spread across his face as his 'ally' was carried away by the leather-clad man. Yet his scowl couldn't be held long as his gaze travelled to the spiked mess of hair was upon the pale boy's head. "Bakura..." He looked down at his hand that had caressed the soft spikes before pulling a face. "What kind of friggin' name is that?"

"It's the _sexiest _name in the whole ocean!"

Odion floated by Marik's bed as said Merman rived in glee upon it whilst hugging a pillow. For the past three hours, he had been describing his adventure with this so called 'Bakura' and now he had just about finished.

"I mean, _come on _Odion! This has _got _to be the _best _idea I've _ever_ had! A Human ally working with us to spy behind the lines, only to then discover their weaknesses and then get back to us on that!" Marik bounced from his bed, doing corkscrews in the water as he swam around his bedroom happily; he was still clutching the unfortunate pillow which was strained enough to burst at any moment. Odion drifted to hover further away from Marik – he didn't want to get in the way of the hyper-active teen's path as he ranted on about his new-found 'ally'. "Master Marik, you seem all too happy to have found Bakura. But...Does he even _know _he's working for you now?"

"OF COURSE HE DOES!" Marik announced loudly. "After all, when he was on the beach with me, he woke up and saw me and started talking to me! He had this totally weird accent I just can't place!"

"But Master Marik, remember what your Father told you!"

"That I'm hot?"

"No-"

"That I'm sexy?"

"Not that either." Odion swam over to Marik, a small frown on his face. "Humans aren't to be trusted in the slightest with anything. They eat our kind and pollute our waters and it's my sworn duty to protect you from that. Also, Bakura was barely conscious. He won't remember or recognise you."

Marik froze in mid loop-de-loop. The seams of his pillow began to split as he suddenly tore his pillow in half, the algae filling floating everywhere. "FRIG!"

Five minutes later, Odion had managed to prevent Marik from swimming out his window to go back to the beach to give orders to Bakura. How he did that? He mentioned Shaadi and regretted it the second the suggestion had left his lips. Shaadi was an outcast – he'd chosen to be. With the Millennium Scales and Key he constantly kept at bay beside him, it was said that Shaadi could grant any wish you desired but for a hefty price. And now he and Marik were swimming along the outskirts of town, Marik with the plan of turning Human to meet Bakura and tell him what to do, to discover where Shaadi resided. After getting lost several times and almost getting scammed into having their gills removed, they eventually came across the cave where Shaadi supposedly lived. "Master Marik... Are you _sure _this is a good idea...?"

"Of course it is! Don't be such a Mega Ultra Chicken Odion." Marik grinned before swimming inside, his nervous yet brave companion at his side. "Hellooooooo~" He called loudly, his voice echoing in vain against the walls of the underwater cave. "Creepy old guuuuyyyy~ You aboooouuuttt~?" Without heed for the danger the Egyptian had put himself in, Marik swam in deeper, only to come across what seemed to be a room full of potions and drinks as well as a pedestal with the Millennium items upon them. His eyes widening, Marik flocked to them like a Magpie would to shiny objects because after all, they matched his jewellery! Picking up the first one he got to, he stared at the medium sized golden rod in his grasp. "It's so... wow..."

"And it is also mine." A hand behind Marik grasped the rod and pulled it away from him forcefully, in effect turning the Prince around too to be met face to face with the Witch of the Sea – Shaadi. "_Yakshamash!_ My name is Shaadi."

"Oh. Um." Marik stared agape at the witch in front of him. He had tanned skin like everyone, his bald head was covered by a turban and his upper half covered by a long white cloak, yet underneath the cloak eight long brown octopus tentacles billowed out from. He'd never met a witch before. "You can grant my wish?"

"I can grant _many _things, yes. What do you like?" Shaadi asked him, placing the rod back on the pedestal before slinking his way over to the opposite end of the cave as he watched both of them with his eagle eyes.

"Okay. I want to become a Human."

"Human beings, yes?"

"Uh, yes." Marik was utterly confused. 'Why the frig can't he talk normally?'

"Difficult spell. It'll be hefty price, yes?"

"Yes, I know about the price and I'll accept whatever it is. After all, this is for me taking over the Human race!" Marik grinned, his eyes lighting up with determination. Odion shuddered as he watched the conversation. He wasn't too sure what he was more scared of – Marik turning Human or Shaadi being the one doing it. What worried him more was how his brother and sister would react to this as well.

"We make deal, yes?" Shaadi explained, swimming closer to Marik, his blank expression and soulless blue eyes never wavering. "You get Bakura to become 'love' before he marries, yes?"

It was as if the needle on the vinyl of Marik's sanity just slipped and scratched the record to a halt. "Wait, WHAT? I said nothing about love! Friggin hell, I just need to talk to him to get him to become part of the Evil Council of Doom!" He became even more frustrated at the look on Shaadi's face. He could swear he was smirking without actually smirking. "Brain may think so, but heart says otherwise. You get Bakura to love you before he marries otherwise you turn to sea foam. This is your actual wish, yes?"

Marik floated there sheepishly, a small blush dusting his cheeks. "...Yes..." He begrudgingly admitted, causing further shock through the forgotten jellyfish friend of his. His Master, in love with the one thing he hated the most? They harpooned his Mother and maimed his Father to the point that he can no longer swim! How was this true?

"Good! You do this as deal!" Shaadi mooched away from Marik, heading for the potion cabinet.

"This'll be easy!" Marik grinned, his loud and obnoxious composure coming back from the brief seconds of shyness he had. "With my lovely singing voice and _gorgeous _tan, he'll fall for me instantly!"

"Oh, also part of deal. You lose voice until he loves you." Shaadi called to the teen over his shoulder. This knocked the egoistic Marik down by a few inches. "Okay... But at least I still have my sexy tan-"

"You lose that too."

"!"

Somewhere in some disused part of the universe, a disturbance in the natural ways of the world was sensed.

It had been an hour or two since Marik had thrown a tantrum on the floor about losing his sexy tan and now he'd finally decided to be quiet despite his tear sodden face and bloodshot eyes. Odion had attempted to comfort Marik but the young Prince was having none of it. It was a Sophie's choice! Loose the tan and go after the guy he liked or keep the tan and never see the guy he liked again! And as far as he knew, Humans didn't have magic that made them into Mermen! "This is even worse than when the Astrolite went missing..."

"You have answer now, yes?" Shaadi asked Marik, him hunched over a cooking pot he'd brought out to mix the right potions and ingredients together to create a potion which would change him into a Human until Bakura married someone. All it needed was the emotional teen's voice and tan for it to work.

"Master Marik, let's just leave and go home. You don't need Bakura to be happy. You've been happy before him." Odion urged, hovering beside his head and stroked his hair in an attempt to cheer him up. But the next thing Marik did shock him entirely. "...I'll do it..."

"You give up voice and tan for Human legs, yes?" Marik didn't look up from the floor but he nodded unhappily. "I'll give up my voice and tan for Human legs..." It was barely a whisper what he had voice but none the less, he had agreed.

"Then we can begin."

"...elo..."

Marik swam into consciousness, his head feeling groggy. Where was he? He couldn't remember anything of the past few hours.

"...ello...? ...ou...ight...?"

Who was talking to him so early in the morning? No one woke him before at least noon! How dare this person think to do this? Marik shifted, moving his hand through the water slowly to reach for his blanket only to discover three things at the same time. One, he wasn't underwater. Two, there was no blanket so therefore three, his meeting with Shaadi wasn't a dream. He opened his eyes slowly to be met by those same chocolate coloured eyes that he'd swooned over before. As soon as his ditzy brain processed what he'd just saw, he opened his eyes fully to be met by the man he loved – Bakura. At least, he thought it was Bakura. Cocking an eyebrow, he sat up slowly to then look down at himself in shock. Where his tail should have been were legs! Legs in tight fitting black jeans!

"Are you alright? You seem to have been out for quite some time." The-Boy-Who-Seemed-To-Be-Bakura asked, putting a hand on Marik's shoulder. "I'm afraid I don't know your name. What is it?"

"Marik Sebastian Ishtar III, Prince of the Sea and 3rd in line to taking my Father's throne as King of the Merfolk!" Is what Marik _would _have introduced himself as if his voice worked. He could form the words in his mouth and remember exactly how to speak yet when it came right down to it, his nasally voice wouldn't come through. What was worse was that he'd spotted his own pale skin rather than its usual sexy tan colour. Marik felt like crying – this was totally the worst day of his life. Bakura(?) cocked an eyebrow, staring at Marik and his unusual behaviour. It was as if he'd only just taken a good look at himself for the first time in ages. "Do you understand me chap? I asked what your name is." He asked again. Marik now paid attention to his British companion before rolling his violet eyes, him turning to the white haired boy next to him to then tap his throat and shake his head. 'If he doesn't understand this, he's a retard.' Fortunately for Marik's sanity, the boy did understand what he meant. "Oh, so you're a mute? Such a shame. My name is Ryou – I'm the younger brother of Prince Bakura."

_PRINCE _BAKURA? That picked up Marik's day by a notch – he'd fallen in love with the Prince of the Humans! Even easier to get information from him about how to conquer all Humans! Ryou sighed, standing up and staring down at the oddity that was Marik. "Come on then. I suppose I best get you inside before you catch the death of cold out here." Marik nodded eagerly, him then suddenly realising the thing he couldn't do – walk like a Human. He thought for a moment before looking at Ryou and how he stood. _Surely _there was some way to get like that! Moving onto hands and knees, he pushed himself up to be kneeling. Bringing out one foot, he leant his weight on that whilst dragging up the other and straightening his legs. A beam went over the tanless Egyptian as he stood at full height for the first time ever - he could stand! Apparently his legs had other ideas on the subject. They wobbled violently underneath him, causing him to stumble just to keep balance before a sudden intense pain flashed through his legs. It was as if someone had took a hot knife and was carving into his skin and muscle, trying to scrape all away to the bone. His face twisted in pain, him letting out a silent yell of pain whilst toppling to the sand ass first. 'What the frig?'

"Ah! Let me help you!" Ryou, oblivious to the pain Marik was in, pulled one of Marik's arms around his shoulders before grasping his belt to pull him up. He supported the most of Marik's weight as he trudged through the sand, heading up towards the slope towards the castle just over the hill. Like this, slowly but surely they stumbled off towards the castle from the beach they first met on. Yet with each passing step, Marik was fully aware of the agony his legs went through as if they were constantly being cut by a thousand knives all at once. Maybe becoming a Human wasn't such a good idea after all...

"We're _not _keeping him!"

"But he doesn't have a home! He just washed up on the beach this morning – I saw it out of my window!"

"I don't care if he's a bloody _pregnant teenager! _We're _NOT _keeping him and that's final!"

"Don't be such a prude!"

"I _am_ being reasonable! You seem to take in everything from the street if it's homeless!"

Marik sat on a sofa in a large and magnificent room. His helper, Ryou, had left him on it to then go into the next room to tell whoever it was 'look what I found' before them getting into a massive argument about letting him stay. If only he had his tan – he could just strut his ass in there and the unknown Human he was fighting with would just keel over and beg to let him stay! He grinned at the thought of this. The sooner he got Bakura to love him, when he found him, he would get his tan and voice back! Marik revelled in his seat, not having heard the door open and had a mini fan girl moment when he turned to see a _very _grumpy looking Brit glaring down at him. Said Brit narrowed his bloody chocolate eyes at Marik's small fit of happiness, the scowl on his face deepening whilst he crossed his arms. Yet despite the intimidating look he was being given, Marik was staring past that to the time when he stared down at the unconscious boy with a relaxed face. This was Bakura. He'd found his fluffy haired Human already...

"What the bloody hell are you staring at?"

It was as if some invincible force had whacked Marik over the head labelled 'bad personality.' He was okay looking yet his personality sucked! Pouting, he pointed right at Bakura's horrid expression. No way was he going to take this crap. Bakura sneered, leaning closer to the silent kid in front of him. "Playing the silent card, huh? That's over-rated you know."

'Your face is over-rated!' Marik changed his pointing to be the middle finger.

Behind Bakura, Ryou had stepped out to find the newcomer and his elder brother somehow arguing with each other – somehow everyone seemed to want to have a go at Bakura today. Apparently Bakura wasn't taking crap today either. "Alright then you bloody mute, you're going right now! Ryou, take him home!"

"But I don't know where he live-"

Ryou was cut off by shock; he was staring at the event that had just taken place within the last few seconds it had taken for him to voice his opinion. The sandy haired boy he'd found on the beach had promptly lunged for Bakura before wrapping his arms and legs around his torso. "What the-? Get off me you bastard!" Bakura hopped about the room, attempting to dislodge him from his body whilst Marik shook his head violently. 'Getting rid of me will be harder than convincing a Twilight fan it's shit!' His grip tightened on Bakura, his jewellery digging into Bakura skin through his clothes. After awhile, Bakura had decided to sit on the sofa with his arms crossed and eyebrows twitching in irritation; Marik hadn't let go. He now lay on the sofa, his upper body in Bakura's lap and his arms wrapped tightly around his hips all the while giving Bakura the shiniest eyes he could possibly do to silently ask to stay.

"You're not staying..."

Marik nodded furiously. '_You're not staying. _That's what you sound like Bakura. You over-pronounce things all the time!'

"...and I don't care what either of you think about that." Bakura looked over to Ryou, shooting him a look of ice. Said nervous Brit raised his hands in defence. "So why don't you tell us where you live so we can take you hoMMGH!" Unfortunately, Bakura wasn't having an orgasm. Marik decided to grip his body tighter, successfully adjusting his body weight to crush his crotch at the same time. 'AHAHAHAHAAA! Now then Bakura! I am _staying_!' He grinned evilly at Bakura's pain who was now dying in his seat. "Alright! Alright! You can bloody well stay! Just get _off me!_" He yelled, attempting to lift Marik from his crotch in order to spare himself the chance of just about staying fertile. "Stop acting like such a child!"

'NEVER!' Marik pouted, thrashing about on the sofa whilst still crushing Bakura without a care in the world.

This was the start of the opposites attract relationship that Marik and Bakura shared.

* * *

Somewhere on land, a few months later...

"Oh, hello Marik." A smile spread across a certain soft-spoken Brit's face, looking up from his book as Marik strutted into the room like the sexy Egyptian he was. He always had an air about him that said 'I own this place' despite the childish nature about him. "How did you sleep?"

Marik blanked off Ryou's question, marvelling in a small victory in itself. Doors didn't exist in his old home; it was just archways. Marik's new door opening skills had come to use, him congratulating himself when opened the door and paraded inside. 'Ha ha! My skills...'

"Marik? Did you sleep well?" Ryou but his internal celebration short, asking the question again. Marik huffed but simply nodded in reply, him adjusting the armlets he wore. Not once had he taken them off – they were the only things he had brought from the sea to here were special. But living in the castle wasn't so bad. Over the few months, he had learnt how to read and write as well as now be able to communicate easily with the two brothers and now he had grown accustomed to the pain in each and every step he took. Though he couldn't help but miss his family slightly. Marik shook those thoughts away and raising his hands to the sides his head; he flapped his hands up and down whilst crossing his eyes.

"Bakura? I think he's outside. He's probably got his nose in the 'Count of Monte Cristo' book he found the other day; he hasn't put it down since he got it." Ryou chuckled at Marik's impression of Bakura – he done that to him behind Bakura's back after an argument they'd had and from then on, that meant Bakura. He'd almost wet himself with laughter when he first did it. "But I have to warn you, he's got company. He's with his fi..." The soft spoken Brit trailed off as he watched Marik practically skip out of the room, him stumbling over his own feet every so often. Sighing, he shook his head and went back to his book. "Marik isn't going to like this..."

Marik dashed out into the gardens, looking about for his spiky haired love. Despite them arguing almost all the time about nothing, they had become thick as thieves and were rarely seen apart. Every day seemed to start with one of them finding the other, Marik creating evil schemes and Bakura just seeing it as a childish game Marik played. The Egyptian had taken this as a good thing, considering Ryou had explained to him that love went from strangers, acquaintances, friends, best friends then lovers. Currently they were best friends so this meant they were _bound _to be lovers soon! 'All according to plan! I _love _it when a plan comes together!' He grinned further as he passed a fountain before halting in his tracks. Taking three steps back, Marik stared at his pale self in the reflection of the water. Every time he saw himself, he had to stop and stare but not for the fact that he was vain (despite that being a main reason); it was that whenever he saw himself, it just wasn't him. It wasn't the same Marik Ishtar that went with his best friend Odion to see Shaadi. Sighing, the Egyptian tore his eyes away from staring at himself any longer in the reflection as well as pulling the sad thoughts of his family and friends, instead directing his thoughts to Bakura and how to advance their relationship. Maybe he should just come onto him! That's what they did in those sappy novels that Ryou read all the time. But then again, Ryou was a weed and rarely gave any advice that was good enough to be used in an evil scheme. It was always 'remember to do this' and 'don't do that' with him! Turning a corner, he spotted the white fluffiness that was Bakura sat on a stone bench beside the shrubbery and as Ryou predicted, was reading the Count of Monte Cristo. 'Fluffy! I've found you! We've got another evil plan to initiate! Stop reading the Count of Monte Cristo and come answer to the Count of Sexy Marik-'

Bakura shifted, turning to speak to a man who was originally hidden by the shrubs from afar. He had long black hair and an earring with a chain and dice attached to it; equipped with a smug and sexy look on his face, he ran his fingers through Bakura's hair. The second Marik laid eyes on him; it was if he could hear the song 'Sexy Back' start to play on an eternal loop.

'WHAT THE FRIG?' Marik froze up, him staring over at the two sat talking to each other. With dazed eyes, Bakura had looked away as the strange man ran his hand through his hair, him biting his lip as the man leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Marik had no idea what to do. It was as if the gears in his head had shut down altogether and no longer made his brain work towards the functions it was supposed to do. He watched helplessly as they stood up together, or rather Bakura bolting up, the lanky black haired man grasping Bakura's forearm and pulling him back, saying something to him out of ear shot. Bakura replied, him frowning slightly yet through the pale complexion that he had, Marik could already see the frustrated blush against his cheeks. The Brit attempted to pull away from the man, only to be pulled back and into a kiss instead. Chocolate eyes widened but relaxed as they shut, Bakura kissing back. Fists clenched to the point that blood was drawn from the palms and trickled out, dripping onto the grass below. Marik hunched his shoulders, looking down in embarrassment and sadness from the event he had just witnessed, his whole body trembling from how much his emotions suddenly bundled up. Eventually the kiss ended, Bakura pulling himself away with flushed cheeks, only to glance to the side and spot Marik. "Marik...?" His eyes widened in surprise, seeing the blood trickle from Marik's fists. "Marik!" The Brit dropped his book, pushing himself away from the tall and handsome man's arms. "Blast it, Duke you bastard! Let me go!" But it was now too late. Marik had turned, running off into the castle. He didn't know where he was going through tear blurred eyes and he certainly didn't care. Anywhere... Anywhere was better than next to Bakura and that... monster; seeing how he had melted into his arms at the kiss he was given. It was impossible to become the star in Bakura's life. No matter how much he screamed, Bakura would never hear him. The months he had spent in agony with his legs. The hours he had spent just being Bakura's 'friend'. The seconds that he had taken from him as his heart skipped a beat when they accidently touched. To Bakura, Marik wasn't anything special. _Duke _was special. In his emotional flush, he didn't even notice that he'd almost run over Ryou in the hurry to get away from the gardens.

A knock came at the door. "Marik...?"

Underneath the heap of quilts that suggested someone was inside the mound, Marik lay face down on his bed, his face tear streaked and smeared into the pillows in a pathetic attempt to suffocate himself in the sadness he now wallowed in. Another knock came at the door. "Marik, are you alright? ... Please Marik, open the do-" If Ryou could have turned paler, he would of. Yet considering his natural pasty complexion that refused to tan no matter how many times he went down to the beach, it refused to change no matter what. Yet somehow, Ryou had managed to turn ghost colour from being scared all the nine lives of his kitty self from how a large book had been thrown at the door with such a force, it had embedded itself in the wooden door. After his nerves calmed, the Brit shakily opened the book-embedded wooden door to discover the once perfectly clean room to be utterly trashed. Apparently Marik had vented his evil rage out upon the furniture as many a chair, desk, table and one of bed posts now lay about the room in disarray, the books that Marik had borrowed from the library torn. There was a picture of a grumpy looking Bakura and him together - a picture Ryou had took, which had been smashed on the floor beside the over turned cupboard and flipped desk. Boy, that guy had a lot of strength in him. "Marik... You didn't need to do tha- AH!" Ryou had ducked, another heavy book now occupying the space where his head would have been roughly five seconds ago. Five seconds ago, Marik had bolted upright and with book in hand, lobbed it as hard as he could at Ryou. Now sat on his bed, he reached for an encyclopaedia of the world to throw at Ryou. 'I don't want to _EFFing_ well see _anyone _who even _looks _like that idiot!' This was a noticeable trait in Marik. The angrier, more distressed, frustrated he got, the worse he language became.

"Well if you'd stayed still for a few seconds longer, you would have heard me explain that Bakura has a fiancée!" Ryou retorted to Marik's signals of eye narrowing and hand-to-head-flapping. Sometimes being the only one to be able to understand him was annoying.

'What the _EFF _is a fiancée?'

Ryou dared to step a little further, him inching over to the bed where his distressed and heavily made up friend sat. "A fiancée is what you are after lovers but before you're married. So when one person proposes to the other to be married and they accept, they become fiancées." Fortunately, he'd managed to actually get over and sit on the trashed bed without having an over 9000 page book connect with his head. "I know you're feeling terrible but I do have some news that might cheer you up."

Marik rolled his eyes dramatically, him flopping back onto the pillow whilst punting the bed in frustration. 'Nothing will cheer me up... What do _you _know?'

"I know you like my big brother a lot."

Marik bolted upright, his face turning bright red. 'How the _EFF _do you know?' Ryou chuckled at his friend's red face, him smiling warmly.

"Well, I discovered it the first day you two met. You refused to leave and you still refuse to tell us where you used to live. And from then, you just seem... happier around Bakura. I didn't think there would be anyone who would like Bakura _that _much."

'What about sexy-back guy?'

Ryou blinked, not understanding why Marik was bopping his head in time to what seemed like music in his head. Sighing, Marik reached back and pulled his hair into a ponytail before pointing at his ear.

"Oh, you mean Duke. I don't know... When he visits, he kisses Bakura and whispers sweet nothings to him but... I don't know if he loves him or not. But it's the same with Bakura. He'll kiss back but does nothing else apart from spend time with him." Ryou sighed, starting to twirl a strand of his white hair around his fingers. "It's like some kind of teen drama really... I can't make sense of it... But anyway, Marik, do you like parties?"

'Parties?' Marik thought back to the parties they used to have under the sea for his birthday and other special events that were less important than his birthday. They were big, lots of lights and food, people had fun and danced. There was even karaoke for people to appreciate his lovely singing voice! Marik nodded, a small smile spreading across his face.

"Well, there's this Nobleman named Kaiba. He's throwing a party on his new ship later tonight so Bakura and I are invited. I want to bring you along to cheer you up."

Marik's face fell at this new information, him crossing his arms and shaking his head.

"We're also going far out to sea. Apparently you can see all kinds of fish from out there so it'll be fun. Maybe we can catch some- OHH!" Ryou's royal arse fell back on the floor, his cheek bright red from where Marik had punched the British from him. "Oh yeah. You don't like people eating fish..."

'Fish are friends, not food.'

"Where ever did you get that bizarre concept from?"

'The sea.'

Ryou sighed, picking himself up from the floor. Most answers to Ryou's questions were 'the sea' and nothing else. "I suppose you had friends that were fish there then."

'Of course!' Marik's composure came back, him grinning and his eyes sparkling. 'My best friend was a Sea Nettle Jellyfish named Odion! Odion was the best Jellyfish a guy could ask for... I kinda miss him...'

"Riiiight..." Ryou laughed nervously, him watching his slightly insane friend. Sometimes he even spoke as if he _was _from the sea. Marik on the other hand thought that Ryou knew he was a Merman and came from the sea. How dense the both of them were on the other's views. "So then, will you come to the party or not?" He asked, moving some of his wild spikes from his eyes, gazing up at Marik with a look of innocence that suggested he was 90% fluffy bunny. Marik stared down his opponent, his Parma-Violet eyes evaluating the boy in front of him. Advantages - It's a party. Disadvantages - Bakura would be there. Duke would be there. They'd be making out. Marik would cry. He would hate it-

"Did I mention it's on a boat?"

Marik's shoujo eyes reappeared from where they left off a few pages back. A childish smile spread across his face at the concept of being on a boat - so close to the sea yet on land at the same time! Humans were amazing when they wanted to be. Ryou laughed at his companion's face, him picking his abused self from the floor and brushed the imaginary dirt and dust from him - a concept Marik never quite understood regardless of how many times Ryou attempted to explain it. "I'll go get your invitation. You wait here for me, okay?" The Brit swore Marik had turned into a bobble head from how furious he was now nodding at the fact he wanted on a boat.

Marik, in fact, had decided he hated boats. The irony of being from the sea and suffering from sea-sickness was all too good if anyone was around to rub it in and now the poor Egyptian hung his upper body from over a rail, his face being splashed by the sea as if to say 'clean yourself up, you look a state'. Like Ryou had said, he had managed to organise an invitation to Kaiba's party via many complicated phone calls and false promises for Puppyshipping in the immediate future; Marik had been explained to that a certain Nobleman named Seto Kaiba had a thing for a certain blonde haired servant named Joey Wheeler. Ryou had such a devilish streak underneath his pretty-boy perfect-son lifestyle. Yet despite Ryou's best intentions to keep the atmosphere lively and happy like the air-head he was, Marik had been in a foul mood for the whole journey down there as a certain pig-headed Brit sat across him in the carriage. Arms folded and legs crossed, Marik pouted in such a childish way that anyone would have thought that he was having silence war against Bakura - something he was exactly doing. Even though Bakura had attempted to make light conversation at him, all words were reflected off of the huffy Egyptian to the point that even Ryou had gotten slightly annoyed that he wasn't even trying to make up with his brother. In the end, the awkward tension inside of the carriage between two rivalling parties had been so thick, Ryou could have taken it from the air and used it to butter his crumpets. By the time they had reached the mansion that Kaiba and his family lived in, Ryou had to pin himself to Noah Kaiba, Kaiba's younger step-brother, before he was trampled by the two angry young adults storming out of the carriage behind him and into the mansion without a word said. Noah's mint hair tickled Ryou's nose as he watched the two, him looking up at the trembling rabbit in his arms that was Ryou. "I don't suppose you'd care to enlighten me upon why those two are in such a dreadful state?" He smirked slightly, cocking an eyebrow.

"Bakura was a dick apparently."

"Isn't he always?" Noah stated, putting Ryou down so they were the same height and could talk properly. "I shan't know how you put up with him." Taking Ryou's hand, he led the now blushing boy into the mansion. Ryou definitely felt like a rabbit from how fast his heart was going at the small amount of physical contact he had with Noah, be it just holding hands. The couple they had created made everyone call the pair 'Slumbershipping' from the amount of time they sleep around at each other's homes; more specifically for the fact that one of Bakura's 'friends' (she was believed to be a bloody annoyance and the lack of her brains can be compared to the size of her non-existent breasts – Bakura was slapped for voicing this opinion in front of her) Tea thought it was adorable and called them slumber parties whenever they went to the other's house.

After being greeted by Kaiba himself with his little brother Mokuba tailing at his feet, obeying every heed and call no matter what, they were finally led onto the boat. In his excitement, Marik instantly sped off to explore every nook of cranny with Ryou, whom he'd dragged away from his minty love, asking him frequent questions about it upon which were an endless supply just like a child would pull them out of the air. After he had explored as much as what was now dubbed 'S.S. Gorgeous' (the ship had a tan exterior), Ryou was finally let go to head back to Noah where he stayed for the rest of the night. Yet just as Marik's spirits were getting up to the usual high-as-fuck levels, Duke Devlin appeared and made a B-line for Bakura. This, of course, was intercepted by Marik making a B-line for Duke and angry explaining to him how much he hated him in sign language with the constant use of 'frig', 'EFF' and the occasional attempt to punt him with various threats upon his future children and wives. After attempting to punch him for the fifth time, Duke placed a bony hand upon Marik's forehead and pushed him away to keep him there at arm's length where said Egyptian struggled and made a fuss.

"Dude, I have like, no idea what your problem is, but if you don't get out of here within the next few minutes, you're gonna wish you hadn't even met me." 'Sexy Back' played in the background.

'I _already _do!'

Duke rolled his eyes at the silent outbursts he was receiving from Marik when a pissed off Bakura appeared, grabbing Marik's arm upon which he instantly stilled, and whipped his head around to stare at the angry Brit. "Just leave it Marik."

'B-But-!'

"Just go!" Bakura pulled Marik properly away from Duke, shoving him far from them both. "If you're going to act like a child, go act like a child somewhere else. Otherwise you can get off this boat and _go home_." There was now a serious yet deadly tone to Bakura's voice, something no one had seen before. There was no swearing or making degrading comments to the Egyptian – just telling him to leave. Marik stood there, his violet eyes wide as he searched Bakura's face for a sign of him about to joke or a smirk that told him he was attempting to hide the smile spreading across his face. When he found none, he hunched his shoulders before storming off to the other side of the ship, once again running down Ryou when he tried to stop him and get him to calm down. Soon after that, the ship had set off, leaving Marik feeling upset, hungry and now sea-sick whilst over the edge of the bars. It had been a few hours and the party on deck was still in full swing, them far away from mainland now. The salty smell of the sea had calmed Marik's anger and stomach slightly, him gazing down at the navy waters below him as he thought over the past few months. Things had been going fine. Him and Bakura had become best friends, them almost inseparable until_ Duke _had to come along with his sexy back backing track and cool attitude. Wasn't Marik good enough for Bakura? Sure… He annoyed him almost every day with how he acted and how Bakura couldn't understand most of what Marik said. When Bakura was in a good mood, Marik would spoil it. When Bakura was busy, Marik wanted to play. Marik let out a sigh, him staring up at the full moon and stars. 'I guess the advantage is being able to see the stars now… I'd always wanted to see them… Ishizu would never take me and Melvin… He'd just tease m-' Melancholy thoughts were cut off as a forced splash of water hit him in the face, messing up his hair and soaking his cut-off shirt which revealed more than enough midriff. A laughter that would have been heard in a dark alleyway at night before you were about to be gutted was heard as Marik shook himself out whilst looking about frantically for the man who dare splash Marik Sebastian Ishtar III. What he saw shocked him even more than seeing Bakura with Duke. 'Melvin? What the frig are _you _doing here?'

In the waters below, his older and slightly more insane brother swam along lazily, his violet tail splashing the surface. Somehow, Melvin's hair was constantly able to stay at a perfect 75 degree spiked angle upwards even from being underwater.

"Getting the screen-time I was promised in my contract. This is my first and _only _appearance in this story. I gave the author a _biiiig_ hug for that..." Melvin replied, his voice sending shivers down Marik's spine. Something was wrong with his big brother, even worse than no screen time.

'Friggin slash-fanfiction...' Marik thought before suddenly realising the off thing about Melvin. 'Wait. How can you understand me? You haven't turned into an anime hero who can read the subtitles, have you.'

"Earth to Marik - I just murdered the author! With a chainsaw. Painfully. Breaking the fourth wall in the process. Of course I can read the subtitles!" Melvin grinned manically, pointing to his forehead where the glowing symbol of the Millennium items was firmly set into his skin. Apparently that was fuelling his power to read the subtitles.

'OOOHHH. Seems legit.' Marik replied, gazing down at Melvin with a look of wonder across his face. 'Then how did you find me?'

"I broke the fourth wall, killed the author, read the subtitles and in doing so destroyed this world! Do you not listen to what I say?"

Marik looked about the area in confusion, trying to spot anything different before looking back at Melvin. 'Um. Doesn't look much destroyed.'

"Shut up and listen!" Melvin splashed Marik with another torrent of freezing cold water, his manic eyes narrowing to an evil glare. Despite how much Marik insisted he was a better anime villain than anyone else, Melvin could just pull it off better whilst ignoring Marik's pathetic retaliations on that. "Your fish-friend Odion-"

'Made of jelly, hence the name 'Jellyfish'.'

"…. Yes. _Odion_ told me everything. So you came here to be with that Human named Florence."

"Actually, his name's Bakura-"

"It doesn't matter what his name is!"

Marik stood there, his face a picture of daft amazement on how the similarities between Melvin and his murderous Father ran pretty deep.

"And from what I see, it's going pretty badly considering that Florence has a fiancée and is going to marry him pretty soon."

'How the frig do you know that?' Marik demanded, glaring down at his big brother who was now giving him the evillest smirk he could manage.

"Fourth wall, Marik... Fourth wall..." He chuckled darkly before throwing a glinting object up and over to Marik. The Egyptian was attracted to it like a magpie; grabbing it just in time to stumble slightly as he almost dropped it several times. "Just use that to kill Florence. If you do that, Shaadi's curse will be broken!"

'Kill him….' Marik stared down at the object Melvin had thrown him to see the Millennium Rod in his hands – the same rod that he saw alongside the other Millennium items in Shaadi's cave. His eyes widened as he looked up at Melvin, staring at the eye on his head. 'Melvin? What did you do?'

"Simple. I got that rod in order for you to kill Florence." Melvin smirked, the side of his head suddenly pulling away in a fucked up manner before restoring to his head. "So if you don't, I'll know. I'll always know Marik. Don't mess this up…" With that, the insane Merman jumped back into the waters and swam away, leaving his younger brother stood on the side of a ship with a look of utter confusion and sadness. Looking back at his rod, he unsheathed the blade inside to stare at it. Could he use this on Bakura? Could he actually _kill _him? Frowning, Marik put the blade away and sat down to contemplate another evil plan yet every single one of them would never work out properly. 'I guess I could just throw him off the cliff. Or the boat. Or stab him. Or stab him whilst pushing him off the boat on the edge of a cliff. That would work, wouldn't it?' Marik slumped against the bars, pulling a face as if his face had melted on one side. Again, his stomach growled yet louder this time. He needed food. NOW. Getting up, the depressed Egyptian walked back to where the main party was going on, a plan forming in his head. What if he just killed Bakura here then jumped into the water? BRILLIANT PLAN! Smirking, he unsheathed the blade inside of the rod, hiding it behind his back as he practically skipped towards the main deck. That EFFing bastard would pay for his grief now! What he didn't count for was to skip into a baby panda and fall head-over-heels over him. Dropping the rod, he hissed in pain as he rubbed his hurt and tanless rear. 'What the frig?' He looked up at the panda, only to find a boy there who was unnaturally short.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I guess you didn't see me." The Panda-Boy stuck out his hand to help Marik up as best he could. "I'm so cute; people mistake me for a baby panda."

'You mean you're _not _a baby panda?' Marik looked down at the kid bewildered, the boy laughing at his expression as Marik picked up his rod.

"I'm a real guy."

'Wow, you're good...' Marik backed away slowly from the weird Panda-Boy before running off towards the main deck. This time he watched the floor in case of another Panda-Boy was lurking there for him to trip over. Instead of a Panda-Boy, he reached the main deck where now dancing was going on. Everyone was paired in couples - Kaiba with Joey, Ryou with Noah, Tristan with Serenity and- It was as if someone had grabbed a sledgehammer and whacked the fragile patience for a certain bastard, it cracking and smashing as he saw Duke dancing with Bakura. Duke holding Bakura close. Bakura blushing. He failed to notice the irritable expression on Bakura's face, only seeing them as the perfect couple they were trying to fake everyone with.

"Isn't it wonderful?"

Marik turned, shooting a look of ice down at the Panda-Boy.

"You ran off earlier so I didn't get to say my name. It's Yugi." Yugi replied, smiling up at him happily. If Marik hadn't been clutching his knife tightly behind his back, he would have throttled the Panda-boy right there.

"I actually was looking for you. Ryou told me to give you the message that Duke announced his and Bakura's wedding is to be next week. I'm sure as you're Bakura's best friend, you'd want to know."

Marik's expression calmed, him looking back at the couple. Yet behind his back, he clutched the blade of the rod so tightly it now cut his skin, blood weeping from the long gashes against his palms. 'So he's getting married now... Ah...' He smiled, laughing to himself lightly. 'I guess I will have to kill him now.' Yet as much as his mind told him to do it, Marik's body refused to move an inch. 'I... I can't though...' He trembled slightly, him dropping his head to stare at his immobile feet. 'Limey bastard...' For the rest of that night, Marik had returned back to his hiding spot on the back of the boat. As they'd reached land again in the early morning, Ryou had spotted his bleeding hands and bandaged them for him whilst giving him a lecture on how to be more careful. No one noticed the Millennium Rod that was now always at his side, it held tightly to himself at all times. He was quiet on the way home, not even attempting to be pissy with Bakura or talk to Ryou. Back at the castle, he headed to his room without a word without notice for his crying stomach on how hungry it was. He just wanted to be far away from Bakura at this moment in time. He just wanted to be alone.

'Not kill Bakura? MY GORGEOUS ASS I WON'T!' Marik stalked through the castle gardens in furious pursuit of the hated Brit. According to various servants, Bakura had headed to the cliffs close to the castle to be alone for a while. The Egyptian had seen this as a perfect time to kill the EFFing bastard. After silently contemplating in his bedroom for the past day, Marik had come to the conclusion that yes, indeed he could kill Bakura and would do rightly so. After all, if he didn't, he'd turn to sea foam and loose his gorgeous tan forever! 'I mean, sea foam is white and therefore I'll be a pale and non-sexy guy like Bakura! Not even foxy boxes will fix this!' He paused his inner plotting monologue to snigger at a sign he had seen a few days ago whilst in town with Ryou before setting off again. Despite knowing exactly where Bakura was, Marik had discovered everything seemed so different when Ryou or even Bakura wasn't around to show him the way! After wandering in circles for seemingly hours, he had finally found the cliff people had been directing him too. Which was located far from the castle. Through a trek over sand dunes. Behind a thick woodland area. Grinning to himself, he pulled out the Millennium Rod from behind him, unsheathing the golden blade inside before creeping over to Bakura, surprisingly, who surprisingly enough was taking a nap. Marik never saw Bakura as the nap type but who cares? It just made his job easier. As he got close, a deafening noise made the Egyptian leap back and pin himself so far up against a nearby tree he could have morphed with it. As his heart pounded a mile per minute, he realised the source of the dreadful sound - Bakura. He was snoring quietly but at that moment had let a loud one rip. Now he was quiet again with the small purrs. 'And he says he's not a kitty!' One pout later, Marik was attempting to kill Bakura again. Now standing over him, he gazed down at his latest victim for murder. Bakura rolled over in his sleep to lie on his back, his head tilted sideways to face towards the open the sunlight like a plant would be attracted to. He was at utter peace in his dreams, unaware of his certain doom. That plucked a heart string on Marik, victims of murder were not supposed to be at peace before they died! 'I could always just wake him up...' An ultimate sexy face was pulled, him contemplating the pros and cons of this. 'Well, he'll scream for help and attempt to kill me... Then more people may come…' Marik paused, realising how far they were away from the castle. No one would hear the sound of violent murder. Shrugging, he decided not to bother waking him. 'Now to kill Bakura.' He Raising the knife over his head as he aimed for the sleeping figure laying on the grass. 'Hope you have a nice afterlife... If you have one, that is.' The knife plunged, aiming for the heart. Yet it stopped abruptly in mid-air, it unable to make contact with skin to draw blood and end the life. Marik stared at his arm in confusion. Why wasn't Bakura dead by now? Why wasn't it working at all? Gritting his teeth, the feeling of his heart being pulled on increasing to the point where he threw the rod across the area, it clattering on a rock as it made contact with the stony surface. At this, Bakura startled awake to look about the cliff side in a fit of panic. "What the bloody-" His red-speckled chocolate eyes laid on Marik, a scowl going across his face. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

'Attempting to murder you...' Marik stood still, him glancing at the cliff edge to the sky line, him spotting the sun going down and the moon rising slowly as if it truly couldn't be bothered to make the transition of day to night. Bakura had taken Marik's silence as an answer. "Look, I don't need to bloody well deal with you right now! Piss off, Marik!" He glared at him, grumbling under his breath about Egyptians and various curse words. Something there snapped. Raising his hand, Marik struck Bakura across the face, leaving the latter dumbfounded with wide eyes. Blinking a few times, he turned his head back to Marik with a look of utter confusion and shock. "You... You just hit me..."

Marik seemed equally surprised in what he had just done. He looked at the forming red hand mark on Bakura's white cheek before doing a double take on his hand. 'I just hit him.'

"You just hit me!"

'I know I di- OH FRIGG!' If Marik could have squealed or yelped in surprise, he would of as a second later, he had been tackled by a ravenous fluffy.

"Bastard, what did you do that for?" Bakura shouted, wrestling Marik to the floor in an attempt to pin him. The Egyptian underneath him wasn't having any of this, him grabbing Bakura's hands to push him up and off. 'You were being a dick!'

"I could get you bloody well mutilated for doing that!"

'Like what happened to your face? Seems like it's been improved from what you looked like before!' This carried on for a while; occasionally them rolling over and around the precautious cliff side, them almost rolling off it several times.

'I protest! Baku-topping isn't good! NOT GOOD!' Marik slapped his free arm on the floor, gritting his teeth as Bakura straddled his back, his other arm in an arm lock uncomfortably behind his back. "I'm going to make you pay for this!"

'I'll pay less friggin uncomfortable! I'll do cash!'

"Don't worry. Dislocated shoulders will only hurt a LOT." Bakura smirked; pulling on Marik's arm the wrong way as he forcefully eased the joint from the socket. Marik kicked his legs in frustration and pain, him wriggling underneath him in order to somehow break free of his restraints. As his foot came down, it clashed with the forgotten rod and sent it spinning to poke Bakura's leg. Said Brit paused, looking down at the knife which had dared touch him, a look of bewilderment on his face. Holding Marik's arm in place, he took the rod and looked it over. "...Marik. Where did you get this?"

Marik momentarily stopped his paddy-fit, him turning his head to look up at Bakura to see him holding the rod. Pressure from his arm was removed as the Brit above him let go to observe the rod better, twirling around in his fingers. "This looks similar to my ring. At least, the eye part does."

'Ring... Wait, _you _have a Millennium Ring?' Marik turned his head, staring at Bakura in shock before demanding an explanation in hurried sign language, all of which was ignored. Reaching into his shirt, Bakura pulled out a large ring attached to a flimsy piece of rope. True, the eye was identical to the one of the rod. In a pout, Marik quickly reached back and snatched his item back before putting the sheath over the knife, it locking into place. 'Where the frig did you get yours!'

"I stole it." Bakura smirked evilly, him crossing his arms. "From a guy named Shaadi or something stupid like that. Where did you get yours?"

'Through my brother from Shaadi.'

The look on Bakura's face turned to one of interest. "And I'm sure you were going to kill _me _with that bloody useless thing." He leaned in close to Marik's face, his cocky smirk remaining.

'As a matter of fact, I was!' Marik's pout turned into a scowl, him glaring at Bakura with heated cheeks. His fists clenched as a look of ice was shot to him.

"Why didn't you then?" Bakura pulled away before starting to laugh. "The great Marik Ishtar couldn't kill me and wimped out like a girl! You're even more useless than Ryou is! And he's a world class epic fail!" Tears streamed from his eyes as he laughed more and more at the flustered Egyptian in front of him. He didn't realise Marik had wriggled out from under him to sit by. "Go on then! Entertain me! Why couldn't you kill me?" He asked, grinning. Next thing he knew was that he had been pulled close, lips smashing against his. Marik was holding him close, forcefully planting a kiss on him. Bakura's eyes widened, him actually going red from the sudden contact of them being like this. Yet his heated cheeks weren't because of annoyance or irritation. It was because he was embarrassed, flustered and his heart was pounding a mile per minute. As Marik pulled away, Bakura was left there awkwardly in a state of not knowing what to do. 'I like you, you friggin' idiot.' Marik huffed, crossing his own arms with a smug look on his face. To Bakura, that couldn't have been a more lovely sight to see... Not that he would admit it. 'I tried to kill you but I could- I mean, decided that you were better off alive for my evil plans!'

"Such as...?" Bakura dared ask, leading Marik now onto an extravagant, not to mention made up, list of evil things Bakura would come in handy for when it came to acting out one of Marik's more ridiculous schemes.

"And last but not least, playing a children's card game with the looser going to the shadow realm!" A shrill yet nasally voice echoed about the room, shocking both of the teens stood there. Bakura had been staring in utter shock at his companion for the past few minutes. At first, he thought he had been hallucinating but as the sun rose, he realised it was real. Marik's skin colour was turning to a lovely tanned colour and now complete, voice came through too. Said Egyptian looked down at himself, looking at his now tanned body. "Oh my Ra... I'm... I'm..."

"Tanned-?"

"SEXY AGAIN!" Marik grinned happily, having a small fan girl moment; obligatory shoujo eyes to come too. Grasping Bakura in a bear hug, he span around on the spot in his happiness, leaving the Brit in his arms utter confused and embarrassed.

"Marik! Put me down you wanker!" He shrieked whilst struggling against the scary bout of strength Marik was having, attempting to push himself away. "Bloody hell Marik!"

Marik grinned, looking up at the irritated Brit in his arms before suddenly realising something. "Hey, if I'm tanned and gorgeous again, as well as not sea foam, does that mean you lo-"

Bakura had head butted Marik harshly, causing said Egyptian to drop him and stumble backwards whilst rubbing his head in pain. "Grr… What the frigg was _that_ for?"

"For not putting me down you- Marik!"

Marik took another step back. A second later he realised he had ran out of grassy cliff side. He was now falling, hurtling towards the rocks below.

* * *

Marik came out of his obligatory anime flashback and started to scream.

"Marik!"

More screaming.

"MARIK!"

"WHAT?"

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

Marik opened his eyes, looking about. He wasn't falling anymore. A gnarled and rotting tree had been sticking out from the cliff face, it being the hand that barely caught the Egyptian's fall. He wasn't dead – he was alive.

"Bloody hell, here, let me help you up." Bakura scowled, leaning his upper body over the cliff edge to reach down to the state that was Marik. This guy caused him more hindrance than help. He could have been happier and much for successful being a villain without him. His whiny brother didn't scorn him about his thieving abilities for nothing. "Marik, give me your hand."

"But what if you drop me?"

"I won't bloody drop you now give me your hand!"

"No!"

"Do you want that tree to snap and drop you to your bloody _death_?"

Marik dared a glance down over his shoulder to see the sharp rocks jutting from the sea viciously, the sea crashing against them and the foam spraying everywhere. "Sea foam!" He turned back, waving his arms wildly towards Bakura's general direction. "Sea foam! Do not want! DO NOT WANT!" He wailed as two pale hands grabbed his tan ones, pulling him up onto the cliff side and away from the edge. Flopping down onto the floor, he calmed himself from certain sea-foamy death.

"Bloody hell Marik…" Bakura sat next to him, gritting his teeth in annoyance. Why was he such a hassle? He'd almost died due to his stupidity.

"Bakura…?"

"_What._"

"Let's do that again!_" _Marik sat up, a beam across his face in contrast to Bakura's of utter shock and anger. "Let's bloody well not!"

"Why nooot?"

"Because you almost died you idiot! That tree won't hold twice!" The Brit shouted, his white spikes bouncing slightly from the wind. "And _I _won't be here to pull you up- Marik, what're you doing?"

"Your bat wings are flapping." Was the childish reply he got, him looking up to see Marik holding his 'bat wings' and making them flap up and down. This caused Bakura to blush wildly again. He hated blushing, that was the second time today Marik had caused this involuntary flush of blood to his cheeks. Yet he didn't tell Marik to let go. "Anyway Bakura, you never answered my question."

"What bloody question?"

Marik pulled away from Bakura's hair, him sitting in front of the estranged Brit. "I only got my gorgeous tan and voice back because my curse was lifted!"

Bakura eyed the high-as-fuck Egyptian in front of him with suspicion. "Curse…?"

"A curse." Marik nodded fast enough for him to be a bobble head. "You see, I met you under the sea because I'm actually a Mer-man! Then I went to Shaadi, the Sea Witch, to get Human legs in exchange for my tan and voice. I came here with the deal that I'd lose my tan and voice until you loved me! Odion tried to stop me but I shoved him off like the poser he is…"

Bakura sat there in bewilderment again, him shocked at what he was just told.

"Impressive, huh? Now, since I've got my tan and voice back, you must love me too, huh?"

The edges of Bakura's lips curled slightly, making Marik's parma-violet eyes become wide with anticipation on what his fluffy love would do next. Laugh in his face was that. Clutching his sides, Bakura laughed until he cried. "Y-You! A M-Merman! And you… And you expect me to b-believe that!" He rolled back onto the grass, unable to stop the shuddering laughs that escaped his lips. Marik pouted, shaking his head. "It's all true!"

"True! You may as well turn around and say that you'd become tanned if you'd kiss my arse!"

"But there's poop down there!" The Egyptian protested against the idea, batting the Brit below him with balled fists. Bakura carried on laughing, his loud bursts calming down to small sniggers. "Alright, alright. I must admit, no one can tan that quickly within the space of a few minutes. But with your voice, you could have just been holding it back and not talking."

"I would have sworn at Duke already if I could talk…"

Bakura's smirk dropped, the air between the two becoming awkward again. "Oh yeah… Duke…"

"Are you _really _going to marry him?"

"Pfft, no."

Now it was Marik's turn to sit there bewildered at Bakura. Yugi had told him that Duke was going to marry Bakura next week! "But that Panda kid said you were going to marry him next week!"

"Panda kid? You mean Yugi?" Bakura smirked evilly. "Yes, I guess Duke _did _announce we were. But I've decided not to marry him. Not that I really wanted to in the first place."

"THEN WHY WERE YOU ENGAGED?"

"It was arranged." Bakura shrugged off Marik's temporary anger. "Anyway, I've decided I want to do something instead."

"What…?"

Bakura sighed; looking up at the stars above them that had crept into night sky without anyone noticing. "I want to explore the world with a certain tanned Egyptian by my side."

"Who is it?" Marik shouted, looking around as if to see another guy hiding nearby, about to reveal himself to them in another plot twist. "I'll kill them before you go off with another guy!" Grabbing his rod, he began to pull the sheath off.

"No, no, no.. Marik. That tanned Egyptian is you." Bakura pointed at him, sitting up yet leaning back lazily on one hand, a smug smile going across his face. Marik sat there, his parma-violet eyes blinking slowly in shock. "..Me…?" The Brit nodded, his expression not changing. For the first time in ages, a blush went across Marik's childish face. "What about you being a Prince?"

"To hell with that! Ryou was always better at it." Bakura replied, leaning close to Marik. "I'll admit it. I do like you a little more than hating you, okay…? Not love. I can just put up with you now." Marik smiled at him happily before launching himself at the Brit with his half-arsed yet good enough confession. Another kiss was planted on Bakura forcefully but this time, it was returned happily.

Not much was seen of the Prince and the newcomer after that. A considerable amount of funds from the castle treasury had gone missing a few days later, enough to fund the upkeep of an underground tomb that was almost 4000 years old. Ryou smiled, looking out the window towards the skyline where the blanket of blue hit the desert in the distance. His brother had disappeared with Marik a few days ago, leaving Duke devastated, only to move on quickly to a brown haired lady. News had come to him that the last that was seen of the duo was that they were driving at high speeds over the sand dunes in a worn down Pink Cadillac which Marik was supposedly driving quite badly. The thought of it made Ryou laugh happily. Bakura was going to have a world of fun with Marik, making evil schemes and pathetically attempting to fill them out. Even villains can have their happy ending together.

THE END


End file.
